Every Wednesday evening, deep in Southern Philadelphia, Laura and Mickie make dinner, split a bottle of wine and watch a film. These are their stories.


Year 1, Day 139

Movie #248: Love, Wedding, Marriage (2011)

Length: 90 minutes

Starring: Mandy Moore, Kellan Lutz, and James Brolin

Plot: A happy newlywed marriage counselor’s views on wedded bliss get thrown for a loop when she finds out her parents are getting divorced.

Review: This movie came off as very amateur - like the filmmakers had no frame of reference for relationships and love other than chick flicks and romantic comedies. It was cliche after cliche, stereotype after stereotype. Even the ‘big twist’ was part of the formula. I was surprised to find out the director was Dermot Mulroney, who I always considered to be a pretty good actor. I expected the director to be a Hollywood rookie but for someone who has been working for as long as Mulroney, I expected better than this.

The writing was probably the most embarrassing part. We are supposed to believe that this smart, PhD-having, successful marriage therapist would forget all of her education when attempting to reunite her estranged parents. She does the opposite of what a therapist would/should do nine times out of ten and is surprised when things don’t turn out right. I could forgive the illogical plot if the humor made up for it but the jokes are obvious and forced. None of the actors had good comedic timing but I think they would be hard pressed to find actors that could make this script funny.

As for the actors, James Brolin and Jane Seymour. although playing absurd and unbelievable characters, at least had chemistry. Moore tries but there is no connection between her and her on-screen husband, Lutz (who I think got his big start as some Twilight hunk). He was stiff and wooden but they got a few shirtless scenes out of him so I guess he served his purpose. Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr was underwhelming but her ‘sponging, slutty sister’ character was pretty one-note. But I’ll cut them all some slack and assume that the script brought them all down.

It’s never a good sign when the best part of the movie is the blooper reel  that runs alongside the credits but that is the case here. Even for a fun, mindless rom-com, Love, Wedding, Marriage misses the mark and isn’t worth the time it takes to force yourself to continue watching it.

Rating: D

We have not posted in months! Shame on us. To make up for it, we’ll reblog this post, which says everything we would have said about this movie we watched recently.

September 5 - The Hunger Games

Laura: This story seems like a rip-off of a million things that came before it. I found the copying of a WWII concentration camp particularly offensive. Teenagers have to fight to the death. People who have money and don’t have to fight to the death wear odd clothes and makeup. Blah. Also, if you watch this with someone who read the book, watch out because they will point out the differences in EVERY SCENE. Hee hee.
Grade: D

Mickie: I read the book on a recent vacation and this seemed true to the text except for one part, so I think those who enjoyed the book should be satisfied. A girl gets to be a badass in a dystopian future. Sure, it’s silly and a little dumb, but still good entertainment. Plus, I love seeing Donald Sutherland in stuff.
Grade: B

August 29 - New Year’s Eve

Laura: Wow, total shit. I really, really hate this Love, Actually-style movie trend of showing a bunch of boring people and then at the end of the film our minds are supposed to be blown when it is revealed most of them are connected in some way.
Grade: F

Mickie: Oh my goodness this stunk to high heaven. I think we talked over most of it. The big payoff at the end was just as disappointing as the entirety of this steaming pile. It is only saved from an F rating because Debra Messing was not in it.
Grade: D-

August 22 - The Notebook

Laura: The flashbacks to Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling frolicking around and falling in love make this depressing movie worth viewing. They are so cute! However, it seemed like the director/writer didn’t know how to end the film so they just kind of do the same thing over and over for the last 15 minutes and it gets really sad and tiring.
Grade: B-

Mickie: I’m mad at this movie. I fully expected to roll my eyes and groan and say, “WHAT?!” like normal. But no, this movie got to me. I fell in love with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. Damn it. Far from flawless and the ending was stupid and terrible and who let the editor get away with that nonsense but man, now I understand all those Pinterest posts and how a girl would watch this over and over after a heartbreak. Damn you, The Notebook.
Grade: B

August 15 - The Vow

Laura: We call this and The Notebook “movies where Rachel McAdams can’t remember shit.” Rachel’s character loses her short-term (5 years) memory and forgets she’s married to Channing Tatum. She also turns into a huge jerk. We thought he should have ditched her!
Grade: D

Mickie: Rachel McAdams loses her memory, becomes a privileged jerk, and predictably ends up where you expect at the end. Channing Tatum has nothing going for him, poor lug. Except some rock hard abs. That’s really it. If only those abs could act, he might have a chance of entertaining someone. The director made the smart choice of having him naked as much as possible which raises this grade from a D to a
Grade: C-

August 1- Black Book

Laura: I watched part of this movie one night last year, in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. I came into it not knowing what was going on and I was intrigued by the suspenseful plot right away. I later rented the movie and discovered the whole story is a flashback so you know from the start the heroine survives. I almost preferred my jump-right-in viewing! Anyway, this is a surprisingly fantastic movie. It’s about a Jewish woman in WWII who has to flee from the Nazis after they murder her family. She dyes her hair blonde and poses as a non-Jew and goes to work for the Nazis. And then falls in love with a “nice Nazi.” It sounds ridiculous but it is actually quite good and exciting. My favorite part of watching it with Mickie was when a character she wasn’t expecting to see with a certain group of people appeared onscreen and she yelled, “WHAT?!?!”
Grade: A

Mickie: Very interesting and well-done Nazi movie. Something terrible happens about every 30 seconds so it’s totally engaging, the actress is great, and there are true surprises. At one point, I yelled, “No!” because the turn the movie took was unacceptable to me. I wanted Happy Ending No. 2! Not No. 1 or 3 or 4! Sad, emotional, interesting, with a twist or a reveal or two you might not see coming. Oh, my heart is breaking all over again remembering this one. Man.
Grade: A